#2. Project UFO -- A CYOA Book About What It's Like to Go Insane
Bantam Books
Ever since you were 5 years old, you've been hearing voices. Your parents have tried to get you help, but your experience with doctors has taught you to distrust adults. Is this the medical case file for a mentally ill teen? Nope, it's the start of Project UFO, and the voices in your head aren't madness -- they're just how the alien Freedo tells you that sinister forces from Calax III are after you.
In one branch, your special powers lead to you being recruited by "The Center for Galactic Research" -- at least, that's the story you're told as you're taken out of school and moved to Colorado to be greeted by nice people in white coats.
Bantam Books"Welcome to the team! Your official uniform is a white jacket with a preponderance of buckles."
But as these nice people escort you into the institution, you realize they might secretly be the evil aliens from Calax III that off-brand corn chip warned you about earlier! If you choose to escape, you find a payphone to call your parents. But you can't use it because it's being occupied by a guy with no face.
Bantam BooksCellphones, smartwatches, Skype, FaceTime, instant-messaging, and social media
were all invented so this exact crap never happens again.
Mr. Faceless turns into a blob and flies you through space, but you soon hear a voice that offers to rescue you. If you follow the voice, you can be pureed in an alien food processor ...
Bantam Books"Shit, there's hair in my smoothie."
And meet an alien who takes the form of your third-grade friend Aldo Archibald Fitmouse. Together, you wander into a giant forest of metal trees to avoid the evil Lepodoptro. You can drink potions that give you super speed ...
Bantam BooksOr maybe he offers you a drink of super-speed; we may have misread.
Or trick Lepo into being attacked by swarms of metal bees.
Bantam BooksIf you choose the wrong page, you get a sci-fi My Girl ending.
Or even grow into a giant, towering above the mushroom forest. After presumably squashing Lepo under your size 112 Nikes, you and Aldo make a pact to get together for more space adventures in the future.
Bantam BooksAnd to finally show Mario how this shit is done.
Of course, all that starts if you listen to the voices in your head. If you ignore the voices, you stop hearing them entirely and are found wandering outside the institution. The end.
That's right: It's a Choose Your Own Adventure book all about a teenager suffering a major psychotic break. That's some deep shit you probably weren't prepared for when you picked up that book with a rad spaceship and a denim-jacketed Goonie-reject on the cover.
resources : http://www.cracked.com/article_22188_7-choose-your-own-adventure-books-clearly-conceived-lsd_p2.html
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