10 Techniques Used by Manipulators (and How to Fight Them)
Psychopaths walk among us. Here's how to resist their evilness.
CREDIT: Paramount Pictures/Photofest
Psychopaths aren't just the villains in slasher movies and Wall Street morality tales. They walk among us in offices every day, appearing at first like normal colleagues. One study found that a small but significant portion of business leaders--3 to 4 percent--meet the clinical definition of a psychopath.
The same goes for narcissists. Science shows a touch of narcissism can actually aid business success, but spend any time at all in the world of work and you quickly discover some professionals let their self-love run wild.
The long and short of it is this: In the course of a normal business career you're almost guaranteed to run into a few truly toxic narcissists and psychopaths who will try to abuse and manipulate you. Which is what makes a hugely in-depth Thought Catalog article on the subject so valuable.
Not only does it lay out a whopping 20 techniques toxic people use to get what they want, it also provides suggestions on how to counter their manipulations. The excerpts below might seem extensive, but these 10 short summaries are actually just a small fraction of the advice available in the complete post.
1. Gaslighting
"Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that can be described in different variations of three words: 'That didn't happen,' 'You imagined it,' and 'Are you crazy?'" Thought Catalog explains. "Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most insidious manipulative tactics out there because it works to distort and erode your sense of reality; it eats away at your ability to trust yourself and inevitably disables you from feeling justified in calling out abuse and mistreatment."
How can you fight back? "Ground yourself in your own reality--sometimes writing things down as they happened, telling a friend, or reiterating your experience to a support network can help to counteract the gaslighting effect," suggests the post.
2. Projection
You know when toxic people claim all the nastiness that surrounds them is not their fault, but yours? That's called projection. We all do it a little, but narcissists and psychopaths do it a lot. "Projection is a defense mechanism used to displace responsibility of one's negative behavior and traits by attributing them to someone else," notes Thought Catalog.
The solution? "Don't 'project' your own sense of compassion or empathy onto a toxic person and don't own any of the toxic person's projections either," the article recommends. "Projecting our own conscience and value system onto others has the potential consequence of being met with further exploitation."
3. Generalizations
You said a co-worker sometimes fails to consider the long-term ramifications of a certain financial decisions. The office psychopath claims you called him "a loose cannon." You noted the deal could possibly go south if X, Y, and Z conditions occur. Your narcissistic colleague tells the boss you said the deal is "a disaster."
What's going on? It's not just that your nemesis didn't understand what you said. It's that he or she had no interest in understanding.
"Malignant narcissists aren't always intellectual masterminds--many of them are intellectually lazy. Rather than taking the time to carefully consider a different perspective, they generalize anything and everything you say, making blanket statements that don't acknowledge the nuances in your argument or take into account the multiple perspectives you've paid homage to," Thought Catalog says, summing up this behavior.
To counter it, "hold onto your truth and resist generalizing statements by realizing that they are in fact forms of black and white illogical thinking."
4. Moving the goal posts
"Abusive narcissists and sociopaths employ a logical fallacy known as 'moving the goalposts' in order to ensure that they have every reason to be perpetually dissatisfied with you. This is when, even after you've provided all the evidence in the world to validate your argument or taken an action to meet their request, they set up another expectation of you or demand more proof," says Thought Catalog.
Don't play that game. "Validate and approve of yourself. Know that you are enough and you don't have to be made to feel constantly deficient or unworthy in some way," advises the article.
5. Changing the subject
Switching conversational topics sounds innocent enough, but in the hands of a master manipulator, a change of subject becomes a means to avoid accountability. "Narcissists don't want you to be on the topic of holding them accountable for anything, so they will reroute discussions to benefit them," notes Thought Catalog.
This sort of thing can go on forever if you let it, making it impossible to actually engage on the relevant issue. Try "the "broken record method" to fight back: "Continue stating the facts without giving in to their distractions. Redirect their redirection by saying, 'That's not what I am talking about. Let's stay focused on the real issue.' If they're not interested, disengage and spend your energy on something more constructive."
6. Name-calling
Just because you've been dealing with this one since you encountered your first playground bully doesn't make it any less destructive (and apparently it continues all the way up to presidential politics).
Simply don't tolerate it. "It's important to end any interaction that consists of name-calling and communicate that you won't tolerate it," Thought Catalog says. "Don't internalize it: Realize that they are resorting to name-calling because they are deficient in higher level methods."
7. Smear campaigns
"When toxic types can't control the way you see yourself, they start to control how others see you; they play the martyr while you're labeled the toxic one. A smear campaign is a preemptive strike to sabotage your reputation and slander your name," explains Thought Catalog.
Sometimes true evil geniuses will even divide and conquer, pitting two people or groups against each other. Don't let them succeed. "Document any form of harassment," advises the post, and make sure not to rise to the bait and let the person's horribleness provoke you into behaving in just the sort of negative ways they've falsely attributed to you.
8. Devaluation
Beware when a colleague seems to love you while aggressively denigrating the last person who held your position. "Narcissistic abusers do this all the time--they devalue their exes to their new partners, and eventually the new partner starts to receive the same sort of mistreatment as the narcissist's ex-partner," says the post. But this dynamic can happen in the professional realm as well as the personal one.
Simple awareness of the phenomenon is the first step to countering it. "Be wary of the fact that how a person treats or speaks about someone else could potentially translate into the way they will treat you in the future," Thought Catalog cautions.
9. Aggressive jokes
The problem isn't your sense of humor, it's the hidden intention of that cutting joke. "Covert narcissists enjoy making malicious remarks at your expense. These are usually dressed up as 'just jokes' so that they can get away with saying appalling things while still maintaining an innocent, cool demeanor. Yet any time you are outraged at an insensitive, harsh remark, you are accused of having no sense of humor," the post says.
Don't let the office abuser gaslight you into thinking it was all innocent fun--it wasn't.
10. Triangulation
One of the smartest ways truly toxic people distract you from their nastiness is by focusing your attention on the supposed threat of another person. This is called triangulation. "Narcissists love to 'report back' falsehoods about what others say about you," warns Thought Catalog. To resist the tactic, realize that the third party in the drama is being manipulated as well--he or she is another victim, not your enemy.
You can also try "reverse triangulation," or "gaining support from a third party that is not under the narcissist's influence."
Have you personally experienced any of these manipulation techniques?
What Leaders Can Learn From Narcissists, Manipulators, and Psychopaths
Inc.com columnist Minda Zetlin explains how dark qualities can bring you personal success.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Richard Nata.I am an author, novelist, blogger and ghost writer. My articles, including short stories have been published in magazines and newspapers since 1994. I have written a lot of books, both fiction and non-fiction. So I was a professional in the field of writing, both fiction and non-fiction.
I was born in Jakarta, August 17, 1968.
In 1988, at the age of 20 years, I started working as an accounting staff. Age 24 years has occupied the position of Finance Manager. Age 26 years as a General Manager.
In 1994, my articles published in magazines and tabloids.
In 1997, I wrote a book entitled "Buku Pintar Mencari Kerja". This book is reprinted as much as 8 times. Through the book, the authors successfully helped tens of thousands of people get jobs at once successful in their careers. They were also successful when moving to work in other places.
In 1998, I started investing in shares on Bursa Efek Indonesia (Indonesia stock exchange). As a result of investing in the stock market then I can provide consulting services for companies that want to go public in Indonesia stock exchange.
Jika Bapak/Ibu ingin konsultasi mengenai perusahaan Go Public, dikenakan fee. - lewat email Rp. 300.000,- ( per 1 atau 2 kali email ). Email ketiga dan seterusnya d...
In theory, in 10-20 years into the future, my startup income, amounting to hundreds of million USD annually can be obtained easily. AND IF FOLLOWED BY MANY COMPANIES IN THE WHOLE WORLD WILL THEN BE A NEW INDUSTRIAL worth trillions USD.
To be honest. Currently I'm not having a lot of money. So I start marketing my startup with blogspot.
My STARTUP :
A story with millions of choices in it - looking investor like you.
Try to imagine this. When you're reading a story on the web or blog, you are given two choices. You can choose the next story based on your own choice. After selecting then you can continue reading the story. Shortly afterwards you will be presented back to the 2 other options. The next choice is up to you. Then you continue the story you are reading. After that you will be faced again with 2 choices. So onwards. The more stories you read so the more options you have taken.
If you feel curious then you can re-read the story by changing your selection. Then you will see a different story with the story that you have read previously. The question now is why is this so? Because the storyline will be varying according to your choice.
I, as the author is planning to make tens of thousands of articles with millions of choices in it. With tens of thousands of articles then you like to see a show of your favorite series on TV for several years. The difference is while watching your favorite TV series, then you can not change the story. Meanwhile, if you read this story then you can alter the way the story according to your own choice.
You might say like this. Sounds like a book "choose your own adventure". Books I read when I was young.
Correctly. The idea is taken from there. But if you read through a book, the story is not so exciting. Due to the limited number of pages. When a child first you may already feel interesting. But if you re-read the book now then becomes no fun anymore because you don't get anything with the amount of 100-200 pages.
Have you ever heard of game books? When you were boy or girl, did you like reading game books? I think you've heard even happy to read it.
A gamebook is a work of fiction that allows the reader to participate in the story by making effective choices. The narrative branches along various paths through the use of numbered paragraphs or pages.
Bantam Books with the Choose Your Own Adventure series has produced more than 250 million US dollars. While I offer you more powerful than the Choose Your Own Adventure. Because of what? Because the story that I made much more interesting than the stories created by the authors of Bantam Books. You will not get anything just to 100-200 pages. While the story that I created is made up of tens of thousands of articles with millions of choices in it.
Based on the above, then you are faced with two choices. Are you interested in reading my story is? Or you are not interested at all. The choice is in your hands.
If you are interested then spread widely disseminated this article to your family, friends, neighbors, and relatives. You can also distribute it on facebook, twitter, goggle +, or other social media that this article be viral in the world. By doing so it is a new entertainment industry has been created.
WHY DO I NEED STARTUP FUNDS FROM INVESTORS? I NEED A LOT OF FUNDS FROM INVESTORS BECAUSE I HAVE TO LOOKING FOR EXPERT PROGRAMMERS(IT).BECAUSE THE DATA IS HANDLED IS VERY LARGE, IT MAY HAVE TO WEAR SOME PROGRAMMERS(IT). I CAN NOT WEAR SOME FREELANCE PROGRAMMER BECAUSE THE DATA MUST BE MONITORED CONTINUOUSLY FROM VIRUSES, MALWARE, SPAM, AND OTHERS. IN ADDITION FUNDS FROM INVESTORS IS ALSO USED TO BUY SERVERS WITH VERY LARGE CAPACITY. FUNDS ARE ALSO USED TO PAY EMPLOYEE SALARIES AND OPERATIONAL COSTS OF THE COMPANY.
FUNDS CAN ALSO BE USED FOR ADVERTISING AND OTHER MARKETING STRATEGIES.FUNDS CAN ALSO BE USED TO ADVERTISE MY STARTUP AND OTHER MARKETING STRATEGIES.
IF I GET A VERY LARGE FUND, THE PART OF THE FUNDS USED TO TRANSLATE THE STORY INTO VARIOUS LANGUAGES.With more and more languages, the more readers we get.
WITH MORE AND MORE READERS, THE MORE REVENUE WE GET.
AS AN INVESTOR THEN YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FEEL ANXIOUS ABOUT YOUR FUNDS. BECAUSE YOUR FUNDS WILL NEVER BE LOST BECAUSE IN 3-5 YEARS YOU HAVE RETURNED THE FUNDS COUPLED WITH PROFIT.
THIS BUSINESS IS ONE AND THE ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD.
If we can make a good story, so that the readers will come again and again for further reading the story then our earnings will continue to grow and will never diminish. This is due to new readers who continued to arrive, while long remained loyal readers become our customers.
So that the number of our readers will continue to multiply over time. With the increasing number of loyal readership then automatically the amount of income we will also grow larger every year. The same thing happened in yahoo, google, facebook, twitter, linkedin, and others when they still startup.
Deuteronomy {28:13} And the LORD shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the LORD thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do [them: ]
Try to imagine this. If I give a very unique story. It was the first time in the world. But the world already know this story even liked it. Because the world love the game books. While the story that I made is the development of game books.
Do you Believe ifI dare say if I will succeed because my story will be famous all over the world as Harry Potter?
I believe it. Not because I was the author of the story, but because of the story that I made is unique and the only one in the world.
Income from my startup :
1. Ads. With millions of unique visitors, the price of the ads will be expensive.
2. Affiliate marketing. In addition to advertising, we are also able to put up some banner from affiliate marketing.
3. Contribution of the readers. If you have a million readers and every reader to pay oneUS dollarper year then you will get the income of one million US dollars per year.
If you have a million readers and every reader to pay one US dollar per month then you will get as much revenue twelve million US dollars per year.
4. Books and Comics. After getting hundreds of thousands to the millions of readers of the story will be made in books and the form of a picture story (comics).
5. Movies. If we have a good story with millions of readers then quickly we will be offered to make a film based on the story.
6. Merchandise related to characters. After the movies there will be made an offer for the sale of goods related to the characters.
7. Sales. With millions of email that we have collected from our readers so we can sell anything to them.
Each income (1-7) worth millions to tens of millions of US dollars.
Because each income (1-7) worth millions to tens of millions of US dollars. Then in 10-20 years into the future, AI will be earning hundreds of million USD annually.
So how long do you think my story that I made could gather a thousand readers? Ten thousand readers? One hundred thousand readers? A million readers? Five million readers? Ten million readers? More than ten million readers?
But to get all of it of course takes time, can not be instant. In addition, it takes hard work, big funds and placement of the right people in the right positions.
By advertising, viral marketing, strong marketing strategies and SEO then a million readers can be done in less than a year. Ten million readers can be done in two to three years.
This is the marketing strategy of my startup.
When hundreds of thousands or millions of readers already liked my story then they have to pay to enjoy the story that I made.
If you are a visionary then you will think like this.
With the help of my great name in the world of business, my expertise in marketing, advertising, marketing by mouth, viral marketing, then collecting a million readers to ten million readers will be easy to obtain. Is not that right?
The question now is what if people like my story as they like Harry Potter? You will get tens of millions or even hundreds of millions of email addresses from readers. With that much email, we can sell anything to the readers.
Since April 2013, Wikipedia has around 26 million articles in 285 languages are written by 39 million registered users and a variety of anonymous people who are not known from other parts of the world. Web ranked by Alexa, Wikipedia is a famous website number 6 which has been visited by 12% of all Internet users with 80 million visitors every month and it is only from the calculation of America.
resource : http://www.tahupedia.com/content/show/136/Sejarah-dan-Asal-Mula-Wikipedia If no Wikipedia then need hundreds of thousands to millions of books required to make 26 million articles in 285 languages into books. With the Wikipedia then people started to leave to read a book or books to seek knowledge about a subject or many subjects. The same thing will happen. Read a story in a book or books to be abandoned. Read a story with millions of choices on the web or blog is far more interesting than reading a book or books. So what happens next? In 10-20 years ahead then read a story in a book to be abandoned. Otherwise my startup will grow and continue to develop into a new entertainment industry. New entertainment industry, where I was a forerunner startup will continue to evolve. Therefore, in 10-20 years into the future, my startup will be earning hundreds of million USD annually.
So do not delay. Invest your money immediately to my startup. Take A Look. There are so many advantages if you want to invest in my startup.
WHY YOU SHOULD INVEST YOUR MONEY RIGHT NOW? .
IF YOU INVEST YOUR FUNDS IN ONE, TWO OR THREE YEARS INTO THE FUTURE, YOU MAY BE TOO LATE. BECAUSE IN 1-3 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE THEN I'VE GOT THE FUNDS. THE FUNDS CAN COME FROM SOME INVESTORS, LOANS FROM BANKS OR FROM ADVERTISEMENTS POSTED ON MY BLOG. IF I'VE GOT A LARGE AMOUNT OF FUNDS THEN I'VE NO NEED OF YOUR FUNDS. SO INVEST NOW OR NOT AT ALL.
My BLOG started to be written January 11, 2015. TODAY, MAY 30, 2015, THE NUMBER OF CLICKS HAS REACHED 56,750. SO FAR SO GOOD.
If I get big funds from investors then with a quick story that I wrote will spread throughout the world. So I got acceleration because I can put ads in a large variety of media such as Google AdWords, Facebook, and others. I also can perform a variety of other marketing strategies.
If I do not get funding from investors then my story would still spread throughout the world. But with a longer time, Slow but sure. So either I get funding from investors or not, the story that I wrote will remain spread throughout the world. Ha ... 7x So don't worry, be happy.
My advice to you is you should think whether the data that I have provided to you makes sense or not .
If my data reasonable then immediately invest your funds as soon as possible.
Then we discuss how we plan further cooperation.
Thank you.
Lord Jesus bless you.
Amen
P.S. The offer letter I gave also to the hedge funds and venture capital and other major companies in the entire world. So who is fast then he will get it.
No comments:
Post a Comment